Those vitamins are really movin' now!!!

Well, I was going to try and save this for the good ol' stand up act, but here it goes. So in the past month, I have come to realize that I take even more after my father than I first thought. Along with his concave chest and extremely hairy legs, I also have a digestive tract incapable of conquering such feats as dense fiber, which gives me terrible flatulence, and most recently, a daily multivitamin. I had had an upset stomach many times after taking my vitamin, but just decided that all I really needed to do was eat more breakfast before the vitamin, and somehow, that would make me feel less queasy afterward. Boy was I mistaken! The day of my misfortune, I had eaten a few bowls of cereal, along with about a half a cup of trail mix. I was driving home from the library while also making a phone call to inquire about a job. I quickly hung up the phone as I steered my truck behind the local BP station. I then proceeded to vomit into my free hand which sprayed chunks of granola and goji berry all over myself and my car like my hand was a child's water sprinkler toy. Being behind a gas station, I thought, "Hey, I can just walk in there and grab some napkins. Clean this whole mess up." It wasn't until I saw the homeless man sitting in front of the gas station, smiling and nodding in acceptance, that I realized I was walking into a gas station during regular business hours covered in vomit. I began to have second thoughts, but at that point, I couldn't let that bum down. I walked in and as everybody's eyes met mine, they were immediately turned back, straight ahead. I grabbed my napkins and walked out, but once I got outside, as if the napkins had somehow changed me, the homeless man outside now too looked away in disgust.