Those vitamins are really movin' now!!!

Well, I was going to try and save this for the good ol' stand up act, but here it goes. So in the past month, I have come to realize that I take even more after my father than I first thought. Along with his concave chest and extremely hairy legs, I also have a digestive tract incapable of conquering such feats as dense fiber, which gives me terrible flatulence, and most recently, a daily multivitamin. I had had an upset stomach many times after taking my vitamin, but just decided that all I really needed to do was eat more breakfast before the vitamin, and somehow, that would make me feel less queasy afterward. Boy was I mistaken! The day of my misfortune, I had eaten a few bowls of cereal, along with about a half a cup of trail mix. I was driving home from the library while also making a phone call to inquire about a job. I quickly hung up the phone as I steered my truck behind the local BP station. I then proceeded to vomit into my free hand which sprayed chunks of granola and goji berry all over myself and my car like my hand was a child's water sprinkler toy. Being behind a gas station, I thought, "Hey, I can just walk in there and grab some napkins. Clean this whole mess up." It wasn't until I saw the homeless man sitting in front of the gas station, smiling and nodding in acceptance, that I realized I was walking into a gas station during regular business hours covered in vomit. I began to have second thoughts, but at that point, I couldn't let that bum down. I walked in and as everybody's eyes met mine, they were immediately turned back, straight ahead. I grabbed my napkins and walked out, but once I got outside, as if the napkins had somehow changed me, the homeless man outside now too looked away in disgust.

Viral Videos

I'm sorry, I don't get it. Parrot's that curse and little boys who can dance like Michael Jackson, okay okay, I get it. Men crying, people getting hit in the balls, and all the AFV rejects are lost on me. I'm sorry world.

So I realize I haven't really posted anything notable for a while. Time for updates. I have recently gotten really into cycling and all the stupid stuff that goes along with it including stupid cycling caps, shopping for the perfect headlight, and finding out which water bottles can give me cancer.
The other day some friends and I went on what was supposed to be a 15 mile ride, but what ended up being a ride of various lengths for almost everyone involved. My ride ended up being 10 miles long. I haven't pushed myself physically that hard since Alex was training to get into the marines.

I am glad he's back in the states.

One of the friends, with whom I cycled, is someone I just recently met, but had sort of wanted to be friends with for a while. His name is KC or Casey, I'm not really sure how to spell it, and he is into cycling as well. He is also into somewhat similar music as Chase and I.


So now Chase, KC or Casey and myself are in a band with the working name KC and the Avenues.

That part about KC/Casey and the band seems kind of pointless and make me feel like I'm a schoolgirl writing in her journal.

To wrap up, I have been thinking about making this journal a more regular thing and using it, for the most part, to tell hilarious anecdotes about my working life.
'Till next time.

a short story i wrote

My mom, brother Andrew or Andy, and I have spent the past few days driving through the middle of Texas in a minivan with a box of snacks. The snacks are here to make the trip easier and faster and include things like granola bars, Nutri-Grain bars, and what my mom has rightfully deemed Nature Valley's Nut Honey bars.

We're currently in some po-dunk town whose name escapes me along with the countless other small towns we've been through in the past two days.

In this town there are a lot of those horse-shaped oil drills scattered though fields of grass and weeds. Then there is a patch of land where two drills occupy the same lot. Both drills facing one another and taking turns drilling the earth like two frat boys with a drunk girl at a party.

As we pass that lot and town, we continue to other towns with names like Post, Tye, Dermott, and Justiceberg. Along the way, we pass a variety of stores and specialty shops that we don't have in the city. The funniest shop we passed was called Nothin' Butt Smokes, which coined our new insult, butt smokes. The second funniest was Spudnut's.